she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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