HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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