I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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