he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
