you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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