There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
