Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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