so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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