I wanna bring you to show and tell
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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