Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
