I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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