How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize