to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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