Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize