She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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