Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
