i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You made out with two different species that night
Everyone says I win the strip club
I need to wash the frat house off of me
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
