I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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