I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
