You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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