Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
