No stitches, just platelets and will power
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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