Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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