wat bout pragnant strippers??
no, he came in my armpit
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
