I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
