yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize