and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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