What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
