Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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