sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
