have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You ruined the universe
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
