Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize