white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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