it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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