pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize