writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
