I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
my being single is dangerous.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize