super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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