he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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