sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
