She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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