he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
