i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize