a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
