i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
