You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize