I like to think it a success when the cops are called
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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