I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
