If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
