return my video game
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
