he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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