Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
