its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize