The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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