Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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