Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
