didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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