If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
