Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
