you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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