Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
