So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
