3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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