She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
