Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
