Can i not drive my cunt home
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
