that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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