i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
