I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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